Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The truth, what a joke actually...

The "truth", isn't. There to me is no truth. Only a dictate of what we as individuals see as our own truths. My true self is neither here not far, separate nor apart. It is always there, amidst all of everything. Always present, always never-present. Within a space without a space. Everything is true. Nothing is permissible. Tis only your work from which you deem as your own work and never truth.

We all speak much but say very little.  We try to convey and communicate something, and then, like a fart in a skillet, it's gone.

The truth is a joke, a fallacy, a stupid thought from a monkey mind of dumb interpretation to which we try to say to someone else, anyone else, just someone. 
But once it hits anyone, someone else; it's gone. 
The thought and the meaning, the message is gone.
So, then what?  I'm at the same loss you are. Then what? 
Where did that amazing idea and message go?  It's gone. 
Only to be somewhat interpreted and understood by another brain.
I too have much to say.  Much to say and very little to finally convey.  Like a thief in the night, it's gone and done with however many more thoughts and contemplations you yourself do without me.


Friday, November 18, 2016

One foot in one world, the other foot in an another

One foot in one world, the other foot in an the other...
A foot in both worlds.  

Once again, I went to write something, had such a great idea of what to write and that moment the blog posting screen flickered up, I lost most of it. Most of what I was going to say and write.  Typical.  Perhaps it's an indicator that maybe I shouldn't write what I should want to say.  Or perhaps I should write it and when I have it, I should take great care and hold onto it.  Either way, it's what I wanted to write and what I ended up not intending to write.  I digress.

A friend once told me "you have a uniqueness of having one foot in one world and another foot, in another world"... "You embrace the old adage of being in this world, but not of it".

I take great care of realizing this game here in this world, the material world.  And I know that even though it's not all there is, I manage and traverse the material world quite well. I do so because I keep a foot not only in the material world, but all the while there's the other foot in the other world.  Call it the spiritual world, mystical world, magical world, whatever the fuck you want to call it.  It's a range. It ranges from the sad poet Keats to the wild magician Crowley. Quite the contrast of views and range of personality.

What I wanted to say, was lost.  Lost in my original thought. Thanks to this shitty laptop constantly crashing it’s network adapter.  Interrupting my train of thought.  Thus thence train of thought lost. Like biting into a lemon and before the tinge takes hold, it goes away.  You get the point.  Essentially what I was trying to say was-It’s ok to have one foot in the material world and another foot in whatever world you want to call it. That balance is key. To me at least, it’s key. Not only for navigational purposes but for sanity and working semblance. Spiritual materialism and spiritual bypassing are pitfalls. Dangerous pitfalls of unending perpetual losing of oneself, never seeing through it.  One cannot and should not rely only on the insights gained from a spiritual path, but also take into consideration the material path. Keep that balance, or get lost.  You will never find anything only in one space.  If you think you do, then you’re fooling yourself and selling yourself short.  You’ll be stuck in a double binary loop and not even know it.  You’ll become a sad guru only onto yourself.. a legend in your own mind. Don’t do that. You'll find nothing if you do so. Mental masturbation will only follow and get reciprocated in that loop. 
You're getting there.. keep pushing...keep going...stay strong... DO.

Without that balance, the delusion, Apep sits in wait for you.  You’ll trip and fall into delusion on either side. Keep that balance. One foot in one world, the other foot in the other world. Walk that line, and you’ll be fine.



Wednesday, September 28, 2016

gentleness... Stop, Drop, and Roll...

So, here I am, faced with a situation that gives me pause.  Pause to think about my own mortality.  I won't delve into the specifics, but I've had a recent event that has given me such pause.  That pause stirred me to write.  Write I will and shall but per usual, my prose rarely does it justice.  Which is okay. But at least I gave it a shot to do something about it and write.
A recent event gave me pause, pause to stop drop and roll- as that old adage/suggestion goes- when on fire- stop, drop and roll.
As most of us do throughout our lives, we have certain events that stir us from our usual slumber.  Certain events that make us think and reevaluate our lives stemming from certain circumstances that stir us from said slumber.
Such a certain circumstance did something to me.
Life is short. Sure it is.  Sure it always is.  That often times phrase of life being short, to me, is bullshit, in a way. 
It makes me think, why don't we always keep such a mindset?  Why don't we take even a split second to understand that?  Why must a shock to our system that wakes us up for a moment, do only just that? When we should behave and act as though every moment should be like that?  Not just one event to make us take pause and be present but why shouldn't all moments charge us with understanding that mindset of being in the present and mindful?
To understand and really know, we are the captains, we are the commanders, we are the sculptors, the artists of our own lives.  We have the power.  We are that power. 
Be it any situation that created that moment of clarity or moment of realizing there are stressful things and events that could and do curtail specific thoughts from those events that make you not only take pause but ask yourself "why the fuck am I spending energy on all this other shit while there are some things that take me to a realization of my own mortality and thus stem to make me take real stock... Take inventory of my life, and the things not only do I value but the things I choose to spend my energy on....
So I ask you while I ask  myself the same question- what is worth it?  What's worth getting worked up for?  Where's my choice to do so? 
My answer:
Recognize that choice.  Embrace that choice.  Take that choice. Make that choice and make that fucking choice based on how you are to handle it and work with it.
Be gentle on yourself.  But still make that choice. That choice how to react. That choice on what do with your situation.  You always have a choice.  There is never a time that you don't have a choice.
When you catch fire- stop, drop and roll.  Get up and make a choice what to do next. You can be harsh on yourself later or now. 
What's next?  You were on fire... you stopped, dropped, and rolled. You brushed off the hot feathering flames and now you stand. You're up, what do you do now?
Again, your choice.  But for now, at that moment, this moment, be gentle on yourself.  The rest, is just details.